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| Bacon (smoked & fried): Found: August 16, 2010, 5:34PM: Brooklyn, New York. |
It was hot, real hot. The kind of hot you don't even want to hear about: the kind of sticky, heavy, sound deadening heat that transforms asphalt into cast iron. I won't say you could fry an egg on the sidewalk, that would be crass, but you could, oh dear readers, you most certainly could fry and egg on the sidewalk.
Now I've always been a man who's careful where he puts his cigarette butts when he's done smoking, a hangon from a stint overseas I guess, you never know who's looking for a Malborough man in Redhook. It's hard for me to say, but it wasn't the greased porker that I noticed first, it wasn't the smell of the sizzling law that grabbed me, it was the sawed-off menthol 100 carelessly strewn gutterside that stopped me in my tracks. How could such cool disregard have been be perpetrated in such heat?
It was then that I saw the assaulted pork victim, stripped, smoked, greased, and left out to dry, and then the sidewalk, peppered with clues of a young vegan perp. Disgusting. There is no justice in this world, dear readers but there is revenge. Goodnight.
